WHAT I'VE LEARNT FROM GOING NATURAL ; The Truth
Although I was reluctant to write about this topic, I knew it was something that needed to be shared. The year is coming to a close and i'm feeling very brave today. Now I know you're expecting me to start ranting about how I hate relaxers and how 'one' with myself I've become since going natural but i'll save you the eye rolls lol.
For years I had long black hair down my back but I hated it. It was dry and unhealthy probably because I would obsessively straighten it. I only kept it for so long because I enjoyed the 'compliments' I received from other black women.
'omg are you mixed?' (which I now find derogatory) or the ever so pleasant 'wow! i'm so jealous of your hair'. This actually made me feel good about myself being a shallow-minded teenager.
As an west African girl, most of the beauty standards I wanted to emulate were Western. This meant straight hair to me, or very fine, easily accessible curls. It definitely didn't mean a kinky, curly Afro.
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| AFTER |
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| BEFORE |
There came a time when I no longer felt the need to hide, last year of high school I believe. I had gone through a period of self growth and appreciation for who I truly was. This transcended beauty standards set by society. I looked in the mirror and loved what I saw, I liked ME.
I know this sounds a bit dramatic, some people can't understand the psychological power that hair has on a Woman but believe me its immense. To give you a better understanding, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie my favorite novelist once said in an interview that if Michelle Obama had natural hair, Barack Obama wouldn't have won the presidency. The sad truth is that a persons life experiences are often greatly influenced by stereotypes and preconceived notions. Anyone who has dreadlocks is a reckless Rasta who smokes weed and says 'bumbaclattt', similarly any Woman with natural hair is soulful, listens to jazz and only eats organic food. On the flip side this Woman could also be black panther or a Man hater. I never understood that one. We are all expected to fit into a certain box especially in the corporate world. As first-lady, Mrs.Obama had to embody 'black respectability'. To society this is silky, straight hair. Anything else would be deemed radical or 'unpresidential'.
With the recent wave of the natural hair community with their cool YouTube tutorials, this is all beginning to change but in order to know if this has actually had an impact, it would have to stand the test of time.
After I did the big chop I went through a stage of fear, I would constantly wear weaves or braids, anything to remind me of the length I had lost. It took another stage of personal growth to finally own the new me. Now I can honestly say that was one of the greatest decisions I ever made.
There's a passage in the Bible that says '... if your left hand causes you to sin, cut it off'. This always sticks with me. My long hair became what I like to call a 'shield of vanity' that I had to shed in order to grow as an individual. I feel a new found unapologetic freedom and I've never felt more beautiful and confident. There's never been a day when I sit and regret losing my hair because through this I found myself. The REAL me.
I know you're thinking 'Here She goes with the speech' but it's very true.
Every day I look forward to looking in the mirror and seeing my big. bushy, curly hair and i'm very proud of it. Now that i'm twenty I actually feel blessed that I had this experience in my teens and can now focus my attention in other aspects of self development, I conquered the 'perfect hair crisis' and now consider the issue both mundane and empowering when I want it to be, oh what a paradox 😀
As always. with love ZIYA xo💋
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